Rita looked up and mumbled 'hello' and then waited until Roxanne looked less frazzled and more her usual ebullient self.
All of her paraphenalia in place and her bottom firmly on the chair, Roxanne put her head in her hands, sighed and smiled at her friend. She said nothing as Rita spoke and went through the familiar list of frustrations that resulted in people being delayed and not getting to work on time. She finished with, '...Tom and the children all right?'
'They are all good, thanks.' Roxanne straightened, took a sip of tea that Rita had made for her, and was now cold, and then reached for the pile of papers in her In-Tray. 'I could murder a fag. Didn't get a chance...I was out of the door in time...tell you more in a bit. Erm, anyone, I mean, anyone ask about me this morning? I didn't notice MISP as I passed. She not in today?'
'She and Brian are out at another meeting.'
'Thank God for small mercies,' Roxanne said absently as she quickly went through her work and began drafting replies to later swap and comment over with Rita. An hour or so later she stood up, stretched and flexed various muscles. 'Brew time? I'm really going to have to nip into the ladies for a fag. Don't worry I promise I'll be careful. I just need a couple of puffs.' Unzipping the side of her handbag she extracted a piece of paper and placed it in front of her friend. 'Here, tell me what you think. Harpreet was waiting for me on the corner of the road and asked for our help. Back in a mo.'
Returning with her coral-coloured lipstick refreshed, she also smelled heavily of Anais Anais, the perfume Rita had got her for Christmas. Noticing Rita's frown and wrinkling nose, she apologised. 'Oh! Too much? Sorry.'
'What exactly is Harpreet asking of us? We can't physically go into her house and forcibly extract her mother-in-law. I know she's a friend, but Roxy, this is none of our business, is it? And I can't see how we can help. What's your thinking?'
'Well, in the first place, it'll have to be re-written. I spent ages mulling that one on the train. Which were pretty horrendous. Had to let the first two go. One guy even shouted at people but noone budged along. Erm, I wondered if we drafted something on her behalf, her Pidgin English isn't quite, you know, and might get recognised. So we redo it and follow it up with something helpful in the mag? She told me her mother-in-law likes noseying into other people's affairs. And possibly the woman might sort of see herself?'
Smoothing out the folds in the crumpled paper that had obviously been ripped from a spiral bound notebook, Rita pursed her lips. 'What about Brian? He might not approve of us re-writing it.' All of a sudden she smacked her forehead with the palm of her hand. 'Don't say it! I'm not going to do it. '
Roxanne smiled. 'Please? Left hand? You do it so much better than me!'
It took several minutes of coaxing and bribing before Rita finally gave in, albeit still reluctantly, and did it. Roxanne read the re-written note and blew her friend a kiss.
9th story in the R & R Agony Aunt series. Copyright Robyn Cain, October 2024
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